Learning How To Love May Be The Best Thing You Ever Do!

Sacred heart wrapped in throns
Sacred heart from Chiesa di Apostoli, Napoli

Don’t panic, I am not going to give you a list of half-assed ways in which you can love yourself. Nor will I tell you to set your alarm with a morning message that reads “Your Awesome!” I don’t have a Ph.D so am not qualified to offer you that kind of inspiration.

I’ll save that for the experts. They all say pretty much the same thing anyway. Except Oprah – that’s just crap!

Learning to love yourself is the key to inner happiness, which in turn attracts positive things into your life and creates outer happiness. Yet for some people, knowing to love yourself is one of the hardest things to do.

In part, this is due to social stigma. People who confess they love themselves are considered self-obsessed and narcissistic. It is therefore a common mind set to think that loving yourself is not important.

But there are two ways of looking at this:

If you behave like you are narcissistic, then you deserve to be labelled with that tag. When you truly love yourself and your life, you have no reason to be self-obsessed.

Learning to love yourself empowers the inner you, and naturally brings joy and wellbeing. With this kind of energy, you can manifest the things you desire in life.

So it’s your choice. And free will is what makes us human.

Before we go any further, when I talk about manifesting happiness in your life, I am not talking about the law of attraction being pushed into mainstream consciousness. Whilst there is some truth in the idea, the advice is superficial and will not work.

To manifest anything in your life, you need to apply the laws of manifestation; thoughts, emotions and action. Sitting round daydreaming about a Lamborghini is a falsehood unless you put your energy towards actually buying a Lamborghini.

In short, you are responsible for creating your own reality. You are responsible for your thoughts and actions, both of which are driven by your emotions. And it is the female emotional aspect that is often missing in individuals and society. You can read more about why understanding of emotions is missing from society here.

By generating feelings of love, you will manifest things you want in your life, because it will drive you towards putting energy into your project and you will have positive thoughts, all of which leads to positive outcomes.

The law of manifestation is actually quite a simple concept once you move away from the fantasy pseudo-science, of mainstream philosophy, psychology and other hogwash disciplines you are supposed to believe in.

Don’t believe everything you read, only what you feel.

Why do you not love yourself?

There are many reasons why you may not love yourself, but the overriding factor is because your mind is not programmed to think that way.

The most common cause is because you did not get enough love from your parents, siblings or other family members when you were a child. Or perhaps one of your parents didn’t give you enough attention so the other over compensated and gave you too much love.

Clinical depression
Photo Credit@ Yuliya Libkina

Another reason may be that you felt ostracised at school because you were quiet or different to other children. Teenagers who are different from their peers are often bullied and quiet children are easy targets.

It may be that you have suffered heartbreak in a number of relationships and have developed the belief that nobody loves you and you will never find a partner.

Whatever the reason is, your mind has developed a negative outlook about your character – and it probably isn’t true. It is a paranoid delusion your have created in your mind to convince yourself people do not like you.

Your subconscious subsequently believes this. Once you are trapped in this programmed state of thinking, you develop the idea that nobody loves you so why should you love yourself.

Do you think nobody likes you?

That’s paranoia.

Are you prone to self-character assassination or self-destruction?

That’s negative programming.

This article will show you how to abandon old thoughts and create a new way of thinking!

Why do you think nobody loves you?

When you think other people do not like you, it is because you do not like yourself. There may be a valid reason for that and if so, you should start thinking about improving your character flaws.

But in the case of most people, the worry is self-inflicted. So rather than thinking why people might not like you, concentrate on all the loveable aspects of your character. You’ve got plenty!

Be honest with yourself and you will probably come to the conclusion that you are a loveable little creature! So why should you not love yourself?

The human mind is habitual. We think and act based on data acquired through experiences in life. You can only hold a belief based on the information stored in your computer-like memory.

The brain is made of 100 billion neurons and 160 trillion spaces of communications exist in between those neurons. The human brain is like an electrical circuit continuously processing and sending messages.

Like all programmed technologies, your mind processes the data you input. This subsequently prints out an impression of the world that you perceive as the truth.

You can only base your decisions on the experiences you have had in life.

Therefore, if you have never been told about the importance of being able to love yourself, it is easy to neglect your body, mind and soul. If your love is only projected outwards who is going to nurture your inner needs. Nobody understands your inner needs better than you.

Love is the ultimate emotion. Every other positive emotion you sense comes from the roots of love. The polar opposite of love is fear and this generates the range of negative emotions.

This is important to remember when reprogramming your habitual mind. It is not only love you need to feel to reprogram your mind, it is all the emotions you experience that stem from love.

So implant the memory.

Exercises to invoke emotions

Start by writing down all your good traits. Then think of people you admire that share the same traits. Do people love that part of their character? Probably. And people will love that about you too.

So take that side of your character for a walk more often.

Photo Credit FEDTA Studio
Photo Credit FEDTA Studio

Contemplate all your good traits and feel good about yourself. Hold on to the thought and embrace it. Be aware of how you feel and make the feeling grow. Hold the feeling as long as possible. It will become stronger with practice.

When you have finished listing your best traits, make another list of all the character flaws you do not like about yourself.

Maybe sometimes you can be too negative about life or things you read in the paper. Maybe you are moody or argumentative. Perhaps you talk too much and people do not respond (a signal for you to stop talking).

Perhaps you are arrogant or say cruel things to people without meaning to be. Even if you do not intend to hurt people with the things you say, others will still perceive you as cruel.

Or it maybe be something you physically do to yourself that is not good for you such as overeating, eating the wrong types of food, drinking too much alcohol or taking drugs on too regular-a-basis.

When dressing down your character, be brutally honest with yourself to identify any negative aspects. Then make a conscious effort to improve your weaknesses.

Once you have finished your list, you will probably find you have a good many more positive traits than you have negative.

To generate love-based feelings more and more often in your life, do things you enjoy to do. Even better, do the things you most love to do – providing this is healthy for body, mind and soul.

When doing whatever it is you enjoy, be aware of the love-based emotion. Take time to process the feeling. This is how you develop the ability to feel love-based emotions whenever you want. Eventually, the feelings come naturally.

So, whenever you feel a sense of love and satisfaction, embrace it and let it grow. Whenever you need to feel good, you will be able to recall this feeling and give yourself a dose of self-satisfaction.

However, recollecting emotions can be difficult – at least at first, so don’t be too deterred if you can’t invoke the feelings immediately every time.

Talisman’s and symbols

Until you can program your subconscious mind to react automatically, you have to learn how to feel using your conscious mind. A good way of doing this is through symbolism.

It helps to have a talisman such as a healing stone or a penchant on a chain that you can process as a visual aid to accompany the feeling. This will be your symbol.

Your conscious mind relates better to visual aids than any other type of medium and automatically transfers this data to your subconscious mind which generates a type of feeling.

You can therefore program your mind to conjure feelings, by assigning feelings to the symbols. For example, let’s say your penchant is the Celtic Cross.

Whenever you feel a positive emotion, joy, pleasure, excitement, love, hold the cross in your hand and stare at it, imprint the on to your mind so that when you close your eyes you can vividly recall the image.

When you do this, be aware of any love-based feeling and hold on to it. Focus only on your emotions and let the feeling grow. Hold it for as long as possible, all the time fixing your eyes on your talisman.

This exercise helps to train your mind to associate your emotions with an object or image.

Your talisman can then be used in visualisations during meditation. If you mediate properly, you should be able to visually imagine your talisman in your mind’s eye and invoke whatever emotion you programmed.

Even if you do not consciously set time aside to practice meditation in the traditional sense, you still meditate throughout the day.

Daydreaming for example, is a form of meditating and if you are anything like me will catch yourself slipping into reverie several times a day? You should set time aside to hold your talisman, relax your body and mind and allow yourself to slip into a theta state of consciousness.

It is in theta state when you brain is most receptive to your commands so practice conjuring feelings of love. Practice this every day until it comes naturally.

Repeating a mantra will make this process more powerful. Something along the lines of “I love myself and people love me for who I am. I am loveable.

That should do it, but feel free to come up with your own mantra. Maybe you want to affirm something people love about you to yourself. People love my sense of humour.

In the early stages of reprogramming, keep reminding yourself how loveable you are. When something positive happens throughout the day, take time to appreciate it and you should be able to generate a love-based emotion. Be aware of how you feel.

Even toast the little victories. You’ve got to love it when the bus arrives haven’t you? Or how about the first coffee in a morning. Treat yourself to a cake for lunch. Everybody love’s cake, and when you take each bite appreciate the moment.

And remember – be aware of your emotions!

By developing the ability to evoke feelings and conjure love-based emotions through the power of your associate memory, you eventually reprogram your sub-conscious mind and the feelings flow naturally through you.

When you consistently release positive energy, you attract positive things into your life. This is the true law of attraction – the power of love.

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